There’s never a great time of year for grief. Back to school is one I hadn’t anticipated as hard as the Birthday child who never got to blow out his candles or the Christmas presents we wouldn’t be buying.
It’s hard because it’s filled with complicated forms like list all of your child’s siblings and ages. Explaining to new teachers why my daughter will probably talk about her brother who died and that we hope our new baby won’t die.
It’s hard because I walk by the room where I should be dropping another child off and look for a brief moment at what the other kids his age are learning.
It’s hard because I won’t have a first day of school pictures with all my kids.
It’s hard because I look at the teachers he should be having and the friends he should be making.
I decided that since teachers always ask for a getting to know you sheet for their new students I’d take the initiative to tell them about the one not in their class, the one who holds a place in their classroom without being seen.
Behind the Willows 